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Due to your visit to this website, a special notifier with specific information regarding your I.P. address has been sent to the Multi-national Observance and Spy Team Association (a.k.a. MOSTA). You and your immediate relatives will be monitored and your actions as well as theirs will be documented. These actions will ensure a continued safe homeland as stated in the U.S. Homeland Security processes and procedures. Within 24 (twenty-four) hours, you will be questioned as to why you were visiting this restricted website. In addtion, your personal computer software and hardware will be confiscated and, you will be pressured into agreeing to become a Republican.

  • Tapping complete.
  • Trojans deployed.
  • Access denied.

Congratulations! You have now been successfully been "contained" by the NSA and the Department of Homeland Security.

  • In case you are a domestic enemy, you no longer have the right to vote. You are no longer a U.S. citizen, unless, of course, you are a republican, don't care for deficits, health care, the environment, the poor and other countries. To become a citizen again, you environmental-friendly, bum-loving, health-care-caring, not-giving-tax-cuts-to-the-rich-but-to-the-poor-policy-supporting democrat, follow these links 1 2 immediately.

  • In case you are a foreign enemy, you have to report this to the Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS), Department of Homeland Security, before your next visit to the United States. Use the appropriate forms (either I94 or I94W depending on whether or not you require a VISA) for that procedure. To fill in those forms online, follow these links 1 2 immediately.